- Index
- Literature
- Tech Support Humour
- Hardware Requirements
Midimusic.org.uk Computer Humour, Systems
1.4 Hardware Requirements
Many people do not understand the concept of "minimum
requirements." There's a reason software packages list
quantities of hardware and say, "You must have a minimum
of the following to run this software." Nevertheless,
this doesn't stop some from trying anyway.
- Customer: "Can I run Netscape 2.0 on my Apple ][c? I have the
color monitor!"
- Customer: "Is it possible to put Windows 95 on a Commodore 64?"
- Customer: "Do you have WordPerfect for Gameboy?"
- Tech Support: "No, but I'll call you when it comes in."
Sometimes it's better to go along with the customer and not ask questions.
- Customer: "I am not seeming to be connecting."
- Tech Support: "Ok, what kind of error message to you get?"
- Customer: "I do not know, just help me!"
This is common. We have people who will tell us they saw the error
message 10+ times but have absolutley no idea what it said. We are not
psychics.
- Tech Support: "Oh, ok, well, what kind of computer do you have?"
- Customer: "It is being a Packard Bell."
- Tech Support: "Do you know how much memory you have?"
- Customer: "I have 4 megs of Random Memory."
There's the problem -- the customer doesn't have the minimum requirements to
run the software. You would think that once the person finds out he doesn't
have the right equipment to run a piece of software, it would end the
conversation...but, alas, the following dialogue is more representative of
customer responses in such situations.
- Tech Support: "I'm sorry, but, you don't meet the minimum
requirements, so we're really not of much use to you until you upgrade."
- Customer: "But, this is not explaining why I am not connecting!
Why am I not connecting to your system!? What does memory
have to do with me connecting!?!?"
- Tech Support: "Well, if you don't meet the requirements, there is
no guarantee that the software will work at all, hence the
system requirements. Because you don't meet them, there's
really no reason to try and fix it, because it's not going to work."
- Customer: "BUT, I HAVE A 28.8!! What would you have done if I
had said I had 8 Megs!?"
- Tech Support: "Well, when I found that you had four, after you
told me that you surely had eight, I would be pretty mad."
- Customer: "This is not explaining why I am not connecting!! I
HAVE A 28.8!!"
- Tech Support: "But you do NOT have the MEMORY requirements for
the software. It WILL NOT work for you unless you upgrade to
eight megs of RAM."
- Customer: "I am thinking that I must be cancelling my account."
- Index
- Literature
- Tech Support Humour
- Hardware Requirements